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AttachmentTheory

Attachment Theory in MotionThe Anxious Heart
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Values in Attachment: How Would Someone with Your Values Respond?

This might sound like the most obvious thing in the world but looking at things this way shifted my entire perspective. 

What would it feel like to make decisions and behave in a way that aligns with your values and the person you want to be—not out of self-protection? 

Or rather, think about the decisions you’ve made in your relationships this past week or so. The way you responded or didn’t respond to texts. How you reacted to something they did or said. Something far enough away that you can see it clearly.

Andi
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Attachment Theory in MotionThe Research Burrow
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The Only Guide You’ll Ever Need for Attachment Styles, Part 1

The truth is, though, a lot of attachment content on social media is reductive and surface level (and I have thoughts about why that is here) and avoidants aren’t the only ones to get the treatment. So, we’re going to cover the four attachment styles in a depth that John Bowlby would be proud of, nuance and all, in a series because we’ve got a lot to cover.

Andi
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Attachment Theory in Motion
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Attachment Theory in Motion: Radical Self-Acceptance, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion: Yoga

If you’ve come here directly from my article, Anxious Hearts: Why You Keep Texting Your Ex at 2am — And How to Stop, you’ve peeled back a little bit of why we behave the way we do, but now we’re on the way to doing something about it. Understanding is only a fraction of the work we need to do to overcome. The first step to healing attachment is self-awareness with compassion. That’s learning to see yourself honestly, realistically, and without guilt or shame. 

Andi
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Attachment Theory in Motion
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Attachment Theory in Motion: Accountability—What Is It Really and How Does It Come Into Play In Attachment Dynamics?

Accountability is integral in any relationship—it impacts if we feel seen, heard, respected, and even loved. The problem with accountability is that it’s a bit difficult to define. To many anxiously attached individuals, it looks like emotional disclosure and validation of their experience. To many avoidantly attached individuals, it looks like behavioral change over time. 

Which one is correct?

Andi
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Attachment Theory in Motion
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An Attachment Theory Reflection: The Uncomfortable Reality of Accountability in Healing

The author expresses frustration with individuals who seek validation without self-reflection. They emphasize the importance of accountability in healing and acknowledge their own struggles with attachment and mental health. Through personal experiences, the author advocates for a space that encourages honest self-evaluation and compassion for one’s growth journey, moving beyond victimhood.

Andi
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The Research Burrow
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The Research Burrow: Safety, Danger, and How We Experience Relational Cues

Have you ever wondered why two people experience the same relationship and yet behave in completely opposite but predictable ways? It can’t just be basic human difference if the behaviors are predictable, and yet why do some people pull away when others lean in? Or why do some victims of assault fight back and others freeze? Many of us were taught that we have two responses to danger—fight or flight—and yet real-life situations produce reactions that fit into neither category.

Andi
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Attachment Theory in Motion
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Attachment Theory in Motion: Broken Promises Are…Still Broken Promises

The piece discusses the emotional dynamics following a missed communication promise in a relationship. It emphasizes the importance of clear, assertive communication through the DEAR MAN framework to address broken commitments. Addressing small issues early can prevent resentment and strengthen the relationship, ensuring both partners feel understood and secure.

Andi
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Attachment Theory in Motion
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The Lies That Sell: “Avoidants Only Commit When Access Is on the Line” and Why That’s a Harmful Approach

The text discusses the complex dynamics between anxiously attached individuals and avoidant partners. It emphasizes that manipulating urgency to gain commitment may lead to more emotional distance. True emotional safety, built on kindness and open communication, is essential for fostering healthier relationships. The focus should be on self-care and personal growth rather than superficial fixes.

Andi
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