AvoidantHell
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An Attachment Theory Reflection: The Uncomfortable Reality of Accountability in Healing
I’m interrupting my Attachment & Polyvagal Theories Collide series for a reflection of something that comes up in Attachment Theory spaces that I feel needs to be addressed. So bear with me. I’m frustrated. Deeply frustrated. I find that when… Continue reading
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Attachment & Polyvagal Theory Collide: Safety, Danger, and How We Experience Relational Cues
Introduction Have you ever wondered why two people experience the same relationship and yet behave in completely opposite but predictable ways? It can’t just be basic human difference if the behaviors are predictable, and yet why do some people pull… Continue reading
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Attachment Theory in Motion: Broken Promises Are…Still Broken Promises
The conversation is coming to an end. There is a steady but electrifying charge in the air. That fuzzy feeling of contentment and connection settles in your belly. You’re regulated. He’s regulated. Your nervous systems are in perfect harmony. Oxytocin… Continue reading
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The Lies That Sell: “Avoidants Only Commit When Access Is on the Line” and Why That’s a Harmful Approach
Originally published on Substack February 15, 2026 “Urgency. That’s the answer to how to get that commitment from an avoidant. If they realize they will lose access to you, they will panic. They will realize how valuable you are and… Continue reading
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The Lies That Sell: Why “They Don’t Care” Feels True—But Isn’t
Okay, let’s talk about it. We can’t avoid it. The entire reason I decided to start this blog. You’ve seen the videos, read the books. You’ve been told that avoidants are manipulators, liars, users, abusers, assholes. You’ve been warned to… Continue reading
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Avoidant Hell and How I Landed Here
An introduction is order. Officially. Who I am and how I got here. If you’re returning, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m only now introducing myself. It’s actually simpler than you might think. I matter less than the content of… Continue reading
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The Nuance that Relationship Coaches Leave Unspoken
We’ve all seen the videos—“The Ten Things An Avoidant Would Never Tell You” or “The 3 Magic Phrases That Bring the Avoidant Back to Your Yard” or “How Your Avoidant is Lying to You.” You’ll find a lot of certainty… Continue reading
Romancing the Fox 